I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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