They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
