You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
