He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
