Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I need water and some morals
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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