I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
