Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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