Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
And then he peed in my hair
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