it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
