Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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