So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
