remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
