Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
