your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
