Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
