I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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