I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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