Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
