I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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