So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
