yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
