I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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