I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
