i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
