omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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