im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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