We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
