we have officially lost it.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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