the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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