Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
