Umm I'm too high to move.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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