This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When are your genitals available?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
