Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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