best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
