This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
