I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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