You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
