she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Every concussion has its silver lining
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
