the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
