is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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