They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
