Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need to calm my uterus...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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