At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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