I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
