I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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