I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
