i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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