seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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