It's like God shit irony all over that family
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
