I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
