Your tits are I can't wait for
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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